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  • July 18, 2011 at 2:28 am #2540

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    Tell them I hate them. Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Bender, we’re trying our best. Listen. Bloody Peasant! Now, look here, my good man– No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. Well, how’d you become king, then? A newt?

    Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical! Who’s that then? Camelot! And the hat. She’s a witch! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed! Well, we did do the nose

    July 18, 2011 at 2:28 am #2541

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    I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? She also liked to shut up! Hello Morbo, how’s the family? You can see how I lived before I met you. Why would I want to know that? Daylight and everything.

    July 18, 2011 at 2:27 am #2535

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    No! Don’t jump! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. Shut up and get to the point! I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

    July 18, 2011 at 2:27 am #2533

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    No! Don’t jump! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. Shut up and get to the point! I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

    Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head. And until then, I can never die? Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? File not found. No argument here. Ugh, it’s filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we’re at it?

    July 18, 2011 at 2:27 am #2532

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    Ummm…to eBay? Hi, I’m a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! You can see how I lived before I met you. File not found. You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go.

    I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. And until then, I can never die? You know, I was God once. You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal!

    [turns the TV back on] Bender, I didn’t know you liked cooking. That’s so cute. That’s a popular name today. Little “e”, big “B”? Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a

    July 18, 2011 at 2:26 am #2527

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    Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. Ask her how her day was. [introducing himself] I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.

    There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Also Zoidberg. Calculon is gonna kill us and it’s all everybody else’s fault! You’re going to do his laundry?

    July 18, 2011 at 2:26 am #2525

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    Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide. No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t possibly… Red Five standing by. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. Still, she’s got a lot of spirit.

    July 18, 2011 at 2:26 am #2524

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    Why? I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time! Well, we did do the nose. Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.

    Who’s that then? Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. You can’t expect to wield supreme power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! And the hat. She’s a witch! The nose?

    July 18, 2011 at 2:26 am #2523

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    Look, my liege! You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical!

    July 18, 2011 at 2:26 am #2522

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    Ummm…to eBay? Hi, I’m a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! You can see how I lived before I met you. File not found. You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go.

    I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. And until then, I can never die? You know, I was God once. You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal!

    [turns the TV back on] Bender, I didn’t know you liked cooking. That’s so cute. That’s a popular name today. Little “e”, big “B”? Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a

    July 18, 2011 at 2:23 am #2510

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    No! Don’t jump! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. Shut up and get to the point! I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

    Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head. And until then, I can never die? Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? File not found. No argument here. Ugh, it’s filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we’re at it?

    July 18, 2011 at 2:22 am #2505

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    Member

    No! Don’t jump! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. Shut up and get to the point! I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

    July 18, 2011 at 2:22 am #2502

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    Member

    No! Don’t jump! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. Shut up and get to the point! I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

    July 18, 2011 at 2:22 am #2501

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    Member

    No! Don’t jump! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. Shut up and get to the point! I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

    July 18, 2011 at 2:21 am #2500

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    I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want! And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… Who am I making this out to?

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 30 total)